Phase 2: Social Lives: Other then education, social lives are the second most important part of the college experience, you can argue against this, but it is human nature. Humans are social beings, we crave interactions with other people, why else would you be a part of a fraternity? Just like in the original CLE plan phase two is all about external relations. Your duty in phase two as social chair is simple, plan events people want to attend, and make sure your brotherhood is a brotherhood people want to get to know. While the first event seems simple enough, if you have ever planned events your a chapter you understand how difficult this can be. But before we get to event planning there is something much more important, getting the brotherhood to be someone people want to get to know.
This can be accomplished in a couple different ways, but the easiest I have ever found is being a gentleman. Your mantra for the next couple of months will be “A Delt is nothing if not a gentleman”. It’s time to scrap the derogatory speech, and chauvinistic jokes. You all are adults, and you are expected to be able to function in public, so stop speaking like you are in a high school locker room. You must understand that like most good things, change will not happen overnight so you need to take this in baby steps. The first thing to do to help reduce the amount of locker room language is to get a swear jar(I like this but it takes time to catch on). You can offer prizes and make this into a game for the brothers. The most important thing is to reduce the use of locker room language when there are guests present, especially potentials. By showing new potentials that this type of language is not to be tolerated, they will start to curb their own language. So why is this so important? Because use of words like Fag, Dyke, Nigger, Bitch and Slut are insulting to a large group of people; many of which you will either not notice they are offended, or will not know that they will be offended until they are. I will break these types of people up into two groups, they are brothers/potential brothers and girls. The first group of people offended are in my opinion the most important in the long run. If you call a brother a fag at a recruitment event because he drops the ball, and a potential who is struggling with sexuality identity hears you, or a brother has a gay brother at home, who do you think that makes you look? I will tell you, you automatically look like an ignorant backwater hick. That potential just went from being really interested in your fraternity, and he would have worked twice as hard to prove himself, to pissed off. To make things worse for you, that pissed off potential just went and told all of his friends that the guys at DTD are a group of bigots. Maybe he writes an Op.Ed piece for the paper about the homophobia in Greek life on campus, blaming you. Sound extreme? Not really, that’s what I would do, and have done to many other chapters. Let’s look at the brother with a gay brother for a second, he hears you all throw around anti-gay smack all day, and he talks with his brother at home, he does not know what to do. He is upset with the chapter because they are insulting his brother every time with out knowing it. He gets so upset he withdraws from the chapter. Good job your locker room language just lost you two amazing brothers. Bet you feel awesome now.
Now let’s talk about the other group of people insulted by your locker room language, girls. For most of the chapter relationships with the women of campus is very important, but many do not understand how insulting a few bad word choices are. No matter who they are, if they are a girlfriend or member of a sorority you should be careful how you speak. Because again you never know how they will react to bad language. What happens if you insult them and they go talk to their sisters? Good luck getting a social with that sorority for awhile. It’s is so important to understand that people talk, and a lot depends on what they say. Your goal is to make sure most of what people are saying about you, is positive. Word of mouth is going to be your biggest booster for reputation on this campus, so it is paramount you give them something good to talk about!
Another easy thing to plan for your brothers is a simple etiquette 101 event at chapter meeting. A little research into your school will more then likely result in at least one person on campus who does something similar to this. I will give you a couple simple things that make a huge difference, for a more complete list look at Etiquette 101 in the appendix. The first and most important thing any brother can do, is hold a door. I know it sounds silly, but so many people do not hold doors any longer, especially in letters. There are some basic rules for this though. If it is a social setting it is appropriate to hold a door for a woman, and it is acceptable to not allow her to hold the door for you. I have gotten into arguments with many women on campus based on this, but I was raised you never enter a door before a woman, ever. Last time I held a door for a woman, she told me my mother raised me right, and told me she would be proud of me. See something as simple as holding a door adds to your gentlemanly reputation. Keep in mind it is not appropriate to open a door for a woman in a business setting. In a business setting treat a woman as you would another man. The easiest way to do this is open the door, go through it and hold it open from the inside. This way you are just being polite, and not insulting her business role.
The other simple etiquette rule to keep in mind is the handshake. Anytime someone you do not know enters a room, you should stand and offer your hand. Pair the offered hand with “Hello I am Blank, how are you?” If they beat you to it, respond with “ Hello Blank, I am Blank.” while shaking hands. Never greet someone you do not know while sitting, that is rude. Keep these two rules in mind, and you will never go wrong in life.
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